No, there is no perfect person and not a single person that God says you have to marry for that relationship to work. There is also no guarantee that God even wants you to marry. God loves you and graciously gives you a choice about marriage and who to marry. However, there is no perfect spouse as we all have our imperfections. The challenge is to find someone that is a believer and not filled with emotional unhealthiness.
There is one clear point of guidance on marriage in the bible. It says that a believer should not marry an unbeliever. Many people see this and think they will change their future spouse or that it is somehow optional. The bible translation from the Message says it best:
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
Although this is our biblical mandate about marriage, there are several other guidelines for choosing a spouse. We see information about what godly men and women look like as well as what healthy marriage looks like. However, God does not dictate how to choose a spouse. God offers you the choice. When you enter into a true and pure marriage covenant, with Jesus at the center of your marriage, then God acknowledges your choice and blesses it as His will.
Some people still ascribe to the concept that there is one perfect match for them. This is certainly a romantic concept but it is not biblical and simply wrong. If we think about this logically it would mean the entire universe of perfect spouses is forever poisoned the minute one couple breaks the perfect chain. This concept also leads to unrealistic expectations within a marriage.
The fact is there are multiple people that may be the right spouse for you. When a single person that draws you closer to God comes into your life and you decide to get married, it’s then up to both of you to commit to the each other every day working through every problem with God’s help.
Surprisingly, one thing that can be misleading is the idea of love. We all desire to be in love and find perfect love. However, relationships are hard work and people with different outlooks can find that even more difficult. Many people have different goals and objectives, or unhealthy family dynamics, and relying solely on the idea of being in love is not enough of a reason to get married.
The relationship and commitment to Christ is the first place to look and there are numerous other variables that will shed light on whether someone is the right spouse for you. Other factors to consider include views on children, finances, careers, family, church commitment, friendships, moral values, and conflict resolution.
Lastly, prayer and premarital counseling are things all couples should invest in to determine if this is a good match and if they are like minded in committing to a marriage covenant with Jesus at the center. It is not that God is uninvolved but rather He will guide and help you make sound decisions as you seek a spouse.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” 2 Corinthians 6:14
Whether God has the perfect spouse for you is a big question and for many it will take more than a few paragraphs to trust this message. If you want to talk with someone more about this or how to have a personal relationship with Jesus then Chat now.